12/2/07

L I F E

It’s a big word isn’t it? One that summarizes our whole existence. Our joys, journeys, sacrifices, sorrows, you name it, it’s there, right in between the 4 alphabets. Sometimes you can sense it coming from miles ahead, but there are also times where it comes out of nowhere - when it’s the last thing on your mind, or the last thing you would expect to happen. Something happened today that made me think about all the things LIFE has in store for us.

I guess what they say is right – What we do is we plan. Plan and execute. And we do that to the best of our abilities. The result, however, is something we may not fully be in control of. And in that case, if our plan doesn’t play out the way we planned it to be, then what? We re-plan? We list down all the key learning we could extract and learn from it? Do we twitch it a bit and try the same plan again? Or do we whip out something totally new, in the hope that it brings out a different effect? And who’s to say which is best? Ourselves? Hey, if we knew what was best, wouldn’t our plan worked already?

The thing is…. LIFE gives us no clue. We don’t know what’s gonna happen. Today, tomorrow, next week, 6 months from now…..we don’t know. Well, we have plans – what we see ourselves doing in the future; where we see ourselves in say, 5 years from now, who we think we’re gonna be with……but do we really know whether things will go our way? NO. We don’t.

If all this sounds depressing, it’s because it is. And I am, I’m depressed. And sad. I wish there’s something I can do about it. But then I don’t think I can do enough. Because no matter what you say or do, it’s never the same as being the one experiencing it. But what if………? What if I’ve gone through something similar? Will that count? Will that allow me to be there, to provide comfort? I sure as hell want to………cos I have, in fact, went through something really, really similar. It may have been over 8 years ago, but I can still remember every detail; the shock, the hate, the disbelief, the sadness, the withdrawal……and I carry it with me…..until now…..and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Friends. Friends who understand. Friends who could relate to where I was, and what I was experiencing. Friends who had faith in me, and what I was capable of. That’s what really helped me brave it out. I may not have made it out if I didn’t have that back then.

So now I think, no, I KNOW it’s my time. To be there. And I do, I have definite faith that you will pull through this. and i know you're tougher than i was. And years from now, you will look back and reflect, perhaps the way that I am reflecting now, thinking about how LIFE once hit you hard and swift….and how you endured…..and how you got back on your feet….and how you showed them fucking bastards that you’re better than that.

Trust me, YOU WILL.