Fasting - Then & Now

From when I was a kid, I have never really liked the sun. and the heat. and I still can't deal with our hot weather. I probably never will.

During Ramadhan, i feel as though the hot weather gets magnified by a hundred times! Hence, fasting has been quite dramatic for me. It's all okay now, but it was really quite a challenge in the earlier part of my life, dating back to my primary school days. I'd come up with all sorts of ritual and tasks and drove my mom mad. hehehehe.....but hey...i was still a kid then....well...kinda, anyway.

Here are some of my past quirks:

1. Be a doormat.

The idea is to lay flat (with just my shorts) on the cement floor, with maximum direct contact between flesh and floor. That way, i'd feel a lot cooler. I'd have to reposition my body cos the effects kinda wane after a while. Since my house had carpets in most places, i'd be forced to lay myself down on corners and some other odd places near the wall. Weird sight indeed.

2. Be a fridge magnet.

For this one, the objective is to open both fridge doors and then stand really, really close (again, with just wearing my shorts) to the fridge. Of course my face would get cooler much faster since it's halfway inside the freezer compartment. The effect - one giant popsicle. At least until my mom shouts my name. Then it's back to room temperature. Sigh.

3. Make an ice bed.

This one takes the cake for I was able to deceptively maneuvered under my mom's radar for the longest time. I'd take some ice or half a bottle of cold water from the fridge, mix it with some water from the kolam in the bathroom, then bring it to my mom's room (cos she had the big bed) and dab it onto a towel, which is laid down on the bed. Once the towel is wet and cool enough, i'd lie down on it, completely, from head to toe. Aaaaaaaaahhhh....the cooling sensation was just amazing! After a while, my mom started noticing me carrying the pail in and out of the room......and i got busted. So i improvised.hehehe..... i started bringing my towel into the bathroom, perform the soaking task to perfection and then bring the towel back into the room. Voila! Icy cold matress makes a comeback! The only flaw to this method is the fact that my mom's matress would end up wet. And she wasn't too hot for it. Hehehehe..

Silly huh? Like I said, I was a kid.

Am just glad that as I grew older, i was able to shake off these damaging-yet-oh-so-fun! habits of mine. So no, i no longer wet my mom's bed. Or my bed. Or anyone else's bed for that matter.

I'm an adult now. I think.

Seduces Me.....

Everything you are. Everything you'll be. Touches the current of love. So deep in me........every sigh in the night........every tear that you cry..................seduces me.

All that i am. All that I'll be. Means nothing at all. If you can't be with me. Your most innocent kiss.........or your sweetest caress..................seduces me.

I don't care about tomorrow. I've given up on yesterday. Here and now is all that matter. Right here with you is where I'll stay.

Everything in this world. Every voice in the night. Everything little thing of beauty. Comes shining through in your eyes. And all that is you becomes part of me too.

Cause all you do.........................seduces me.

And if i should die tomorrow. I'd go down with a smile on my face. I thank god I've ever known you. I fall down on my knees. For all the love we've made.

Every sigh in the night....every tear that you cry...seduces me......................................seduces me.


All that you do............................seduces me... ... .. . . .


-------------------too good to be true?---------------

28/7/08





The Dark Knight (and a bit of grey)................(spoilers alert!).





After about 6 restless days of waiting, i finally got to see this much-anticipated sequel of Batman Begins - The Dark Knight. and boy did it rock!!!! As we all know, this sequel is darker than its predecessor and is quite thought-provoking.



Of late, i've grown rather fond of movies that falls within the grey area of things, like The Mist, which i have written about in an earlier post. and it is for that same reason that i really enjoyed the whole 2 1/2 hours of TDK. Face told me that the movie lingered in his mind for a while after he saw it, and i can see how it would.



I had completed watching back-to-back episodes of Grey's Anatomy season 4 a few weeks back and i had this thought - "it is not black and white". And i find it to be true. Many things in life are not black and white. They're more grey. Like what Bailey said to George, about how good people, under certain circumstances, do bad things.........it doesn't automatically make them bad...........they just make bad decisions....decisions that they would regret for the rest of their life....and they have to come to terms with it....so they can move on.......move on to make better decisions. Confusing eh? That's because it's not black and white.



This is where TDK is most memorable for me. It's a realistic take on life and the choices we have to make and live with after:



- Is it more honorable to sacrifice your life, if it means saving the one you love?

- Do you save the person you love and not the person who needed saving the most?

- Is it fairplay to decidedly cause death onto criminals than onto 'innocent bystanders"?

- Is it worth to abandon your integrity, if it's in the interest of saving people's lives?

- Is revenge a worthy cause? will it right your wrong?



The line between good and bad is thin. There's too many variables and circumstances that affect the thickening or thinning of the line. When humans feel their very lives are threatened, they'd switched from being innocent and just to being a judge sooner than they think. I mean why should i die? why shouldn't you? right? or is that wrong? god.........i don't know what i'd do..........



What would YOU do?

18/5/08

Tag! You're It!

Yes, I've been tagged, which is FUN! so thanks Idee! :)

Here goes:

1. Name 4 Things That Need To Be Invented

• A device in the cinema hall that would automatically shine on a person who talks/narrates/chats on the phone while watching a movie.
• An affordable and safe virtual experience device and package that offers a variety of experience; action adventure, romance, sports, etc...
• A cure for cancer.
• A cure for HIV/Aids.

2. Name 4 Things That Should Never Have Been Invented

• Credit Cards.
• Weird Gatsby advertisement (those with broom-like hair and strange jingles. Euw.)
• Crazy drugs - ecstacy, etc.
• The movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

3. Name 3 things I do not know about you

• I have my hair cut twice a month.
• I play badminton twice a week.
• I have zero tolerance for pain.
• I love porn cartoon of a certain variety.

4. Name 5 Snacks you enjoy

• Fries
• Chips
• Crackers
• Malay kuih
• Eclipse/Clorets (well, it's a snack to me...)

Now that i'm doing this.....i think i should write other stuff and start tagging people too!! hehehe

Soon.......(well, knowing me and my frequency of blogging, maybe not so soon......but still.......pretty soon......like more sooner than later.....i hope). Hehehehehe

10/4/08

Definitely, maybe.

(spoilers alert!)

I finally got to see a movie tonight in KK!! Third time's a charm, i guess. I went with some friends whom i've came to know recently here; people who are friendly and kind - very hospitable!

We watched the new movie Definitely, maybe and it got me thinking again. yeah, in my earlier blog in which i talked about The Mist and The Spiderwick Chronicles, i said something about how "movies make me think". They do.

To some, the movie may have been a little tad slow, but for me, it had a lot of memorable moments, scenes and lines all throughout the 2 hours. As far as characters were concerned, Maya had an interesting perspective towards her dad's story; one that was insightful and empathatic, with variety of depths. I felt it in my stomach when she asked her dad "So did she break it?" Her dad said "What?" and she placed her fist on her heart.

And then there was this genuine and honest relationship of Maya and her dad that, to me, was very, for lack of a better word, special. I liked how she expressed her disapproval to her dad about him being a smoker in the past. "Wait a minute. You smoked?" and her dad said "That was a long time ago. I quit." to which she responded "Is there anything else i need to know?" - As if she's holding her dad's moral scorecard.

I also found it amusing when she said "I can't believe that Emily practised with Charlie!" - an appropriately placed line to reflect her innocence which keeps her over-the-age maturity in balance.

One of the major tear jerker came about when she said this ultra funny and yet filled with conviction line "Dad, I can't believe that you smoked, behaved so badly and was such a slut, but I love you" Now there's a measure of true love for you! hahahahaa....

So yeah, it got me thinking about the people who we cross path with in our life. The ones who we misinterpret, the ones we wish we didn't take for granted, the ones we let go, believing that it was the right (or dare i say moral) thing to do, the ones we hold on to the most in time of need, the ones who tells us what we need to hear out of their genuine care towards our well being and also the ones who have helped us discover parts of our selves which we never knew existed.

All in all, it was a good movie for me, one with a 'happy ending', Maya. Although in most cases I'd be able to spot it, it eluded me this time, when her dad said "I haven't told you the story's happy ending. it is you, Maya" So much for being a movie freak huh.

Another must-have dvd to add to my collection.

5/4/08

This is me........


What is your favorite song of all time?
If it's just one song, then it has to be Doin Fine by Boyz II Men.

What is your favorite movie quote?
"We're all connected to each other, through our loneliness, desires and that one lamentable lapse of judgement"

What would be the soundtrack to the movie about your life?
Songs from Sarah Mclachlan's albums

How far do you drive to school/work every day?
An hour drive (cue sympathetic hymn).

What do you want?
PS3.

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie??
Why Miss Lara Croft of course.

My place or yours?
Mine.

Star Wars or Star Trek?
Star Wars! "Luke, I am your father" " Noooooooo"

Apple juice or orange juice?
Apple juice

College degree in what?
Chef Training.

Musical instrument I play?
None. I can't even whistle. It sucks.

Family or friends?
I need them both in my life.

Are you self obsessed?
I'd like to think not.

What I dislike most about the general public is...
Racial profiling

Is there any circumstance where cheating is okay?
No.

What is your biggest turn off?
People who refuse to talk / discuss about their issues at hand with the relevant parties

Jeans or shorts?
Shorts.

Are you a good friend or not ?
Yes I am. (well you asked!)

Do you sometimes wish you were a porn star?
I sure do! hahahaha

Do you have to go to the bathroom?
I seldom do.

do you currently like anyone?
Yes.

Do you like thunderstorms?
Not at all.

What happened if you were interviewed and it never ended.
They'll make a movie out of it.

Orlando bloom or Johnny depp?
Neither.

Do you like to bake/cook?
I would, only if i have an island shape kitchen and a full range of cooking tools.

Winter or summer?
Absolutely winter!!!!

If you could pick anyone dead or alive to have lunch with, who would it be?
Andrea Bocelli.

What are your "comfy clothes"?
Round neck black tee and shorts.

If you were one word, what word would you be?
Freak

Favorite Rapper
Missy Elliott

What language would you like to speak fluently?
Mandarin, French, Spanish and Bahasa. hehehehe....

Whats your favorite sport?
Badminton

Chocolate or other candy?
Chocolate. No contest.

Sour or sweet candy?
Sour all the way.

Favorite hot drink?
I hate hot drinks.

What is your dream job?
To be a singer.

Are you fed up of all these questions?
Nope, I crave interviews!

Do you believe a good life is attainable? or is it something that is out of our control ie subject to luck etc.
85% attainable, 15% circumstancial.

What is your favorite color?
Black.

Why are you taking this interview?
I crave interviews!

Do you plan in advance
Yes!

Do you say "I love you" in the relationship?
No. I say " I love you baby". hahaha.....

If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?
Singer.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Gold Coast, Australia.

If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?
Sorry, I don't cook.

What is your favourite word?
Yay!

If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?
A bear.

If you could time travel to the past to correct any mistakes you feel youve made would you?
Yes.

When do you plan on getting married?
When I get my calling.

Would you rather be hot or cold?
Definitely cold.

Your favorite Disney Films?
Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Finding Nemo and The Incredibles.

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
Chocolates and strawberries.

Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Deaf

What is your favorite TV show?
Alias.

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
The ability to read other's mind. No wait, the ability to control other's mind. No, wait, that's too freaky. Okay, the first one then.

Have you had a beer in the last week?
I don't drink. I mean no.

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Definitely Gatorade.

Favorite body part?
My cleft. Haha!

Flip flops or sandles?
Sandles. I can't deal with the part in between the big toe and the second toe (if that's what you call it).

What do you do on fridays?
I play badminton with my regular buddies. Religiously.

How tall are you?
Somewhere between 170cm - 172cm. That's how short I am.

Do you like bananas?
I do but my doc said it's bad for me due to its sugar content.

27/3/08

Expectations and preferences

Everyone have them. We've had some of it since we were kids and others we develop through the years. Some are flexible but some are non-compromising. Some are work-related, some applies to personal life and others apply to both professional and the personal aspects of our life.

Some of mine includes the following:

• Effective communication - expectation.
• Effective feedback - expectation.
• Punctuality - expectation.
• Sitting in the corner as opposed to the center table of a restaurant - preference.
• Wearing black - preference.
• Having a haircut once every two weeks - non-compromising preference.
• Arriving early to watch a movie - expectation and non-compromising preference.
• Sitting on the center seat, 6th row from the screen at the movies - almost non-compromising preference.
• Not eating vegetables - non-compromising preference.haha!
• Play badminton twice a week - really, really strong preference.

I guess the trick is to balance our own expectations and preferences with those of our friends, co-workers and family. Easier said than done, since many of them are ever so conflicting. One possibly effective way, i found, is to remove myself from the scenario of conflict. For example, if you'd rather watch Lang Buana (no judgement!) but i prefer The Lord of the Rings - Return of the King (giteww), we'll just go our separate ways; you go into Hall 1 while i'll enter Hall 6. No hard feelings.

And what if it's a non-compromising preference and it's not about conflicting movie taste? Then i guess all there is to do is this: woooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.................................................(insert hand gesture). and all will be fine again. Or will it?

26/03/08

Is it really that small?

How many times have we used the term "it's a small world huh.."? Let's see:

"Hi, you may not remember me, but i used to work with ____ and we've met before at ____ where you often visit. We just got off the same flight" "Oh yeah, how nice to see you again!" "what a small world!"

"Hey, i think i know him. We met at the leadership conference in Hawaii last year, he's in Thailand now" "small world!"

"Dude, you know the guy who applied for the position? I think i know of him. He's a cousin of one of my friend, we went to the outlet in Pavilion about a few months back and he was the manager in charge there." "Hmmm....small world huh"

"Hello there?! what are you doing here?? Oh, you live here? in this building? me too!!Wow, what a coincidence" "Yeah, small word eh?"

and of course, the inevitable one -

"Hey, hi.....i'm having a drink with a visiting friend from KL, ______. Yup....oh, really? You do? _______? oh i see.....so you guys know each other too? Owh.....hahhahaa......hmmm.... "it's a small world isn't it?"


Hmm....how small? Apparently very small........and it's getting smaller by the minute.

16/3/08

The Mist vs The Spiderwick Chronicles

(Spoilers alert!)

I saw the two movies back to back the other day and it turned out to be quite an experience. If you haven't seen the movies and you hate spoilers, you should stop reading. But hey, this my blog and very few people read it and so i dun think it's that big of a deal.Hahaha.

The movies, i feel, represent the opposite sides of the human spirit. The Mist (TM) showed the extreme negative side of a human mind and what it's capable of doing when people feel that their very existence is threatened. The Spiderwick Chronicles (TSC), however highlights the more commonly-seen human spirit (or perhaps the more celebrated one) in hollywood land - the triumph of good over evil.

In TM, people turn against each other and even kill, all out of fear of death. Some took solace in religion, one used religion as a mean to take matters into her own hand (one of Marcia Gay Harden's best role that i've seen!). And one man (Thomas Jane) fights for the survival of his son, only to end it himself.

In TSC, yet another teenage boy is given the heavy responsibility to help save the world. and long story short, he overcame all impossible obstacles and achieved victory! Okay, okay.......i liked the movie a lot, fast-paced, action-packed and has that magic wizardry bits.....it's just that it paled in comparison to the impact which TM had onto me.

So back to TM - the plot, which i think is rather original, was given an even more original ending - when survival seems impossible and hope vanishes.........and when people felt that there is only one thing waiting for them - death. And so they chose to do what seemed like the only thing they could choose -how to die. Four bullets in a gun, four shots fired; one for the elderly woman, one for the old man, one for the woman cradling the man's son, and the final one for the son - his son, the very soul he was trying to protect. Now what would that have felt like for him? Ending the life of his own son........ i can't even comprehend. In the movie, feelings of remorse instantly took place, him screaming his own dissapproval upon himself. Mere seconds after, the worst imaginable realization sets in. Tanks and soldiers appears, signaling that the danger is gone. And just seconds after 4 lives were (which in retrospect, now seemed unnecessary) ended.

Maybe that's why i like movies so much. It helps me think. hahaha.

27/2/08

Discovery

For all my life, I have never seen myself as adventure-loving, outdoorsy or as a risk-taker kinda guy. The furthest i've gone to in being adventurous was probably the time i went on the Tower of Terror - a ride where you get strapped in, raised high in the sky and then dropped down in high speed. I'm also crazy about roller coaster rides, but that's pretty much it. There's no camping in the woods, mountain climbing expedition or even jogging. I hate jogging. There, i have made my point. I'm pretty much a couch potato. And a proud one at that!

I was, however, recently presented with some opportunities to change. You see, I set a few goals for me to achieve by year end 08, so i've kinda started this actionable steps to realise these goals. That's how i stumbled into this opportunity called hiking. Macha - my good friend and my badminton buddy, goes hiking at Bukit Gasing every saturday (crazy item no. 1) and she asked me to join her last week. And so i did. Woke up at 7am (crazy item no. 2) and off we went. That morning, i hiked up and down for about 2 hours straight (crazy item no. 3). Surprisingly, i managed......and naturally the situation called for a celebration; a feast! so i had two chappati with chicken curry and 5 glasses of teh o ais (not-so-crazy item no. 4).

And so begun a new discovery. I can hike! and i shall do so every saturday from now onwards. Wish me luck!

Unfortunately, with a positive new discovery, comes a not-so-positive new discovery. I recently tried something for the first time. I hesitated at first, but when the time came and i was face-to-face with the decision, i decided against my better judgement. And i'm afraid i kinda enjoyed it..............so that only means that sequals are now in the making. I still have my guard up though, am not ready (and i probably shouldn't) to plunge into the adventure hole just yet, so i'm gonna take it slow.......and steady....and safe (please let it be safe...).

And i have a back up, just in case things go south. So, please, keep your handphone on ya face! And thanks for saying yes, buddy!

17/2/08

Secret Identity

I saw the movie Jumper today with a friend. It's a pretty cool movie - a bit of action, not too much of romance, some special effects.

It also reminded me of a friend. In one of the scene, the girl (there's always a girl) said to the guy (and there's always a guy chasing the girl) "It's okay if you don't wanna tell me everything, just don't lie to me' and bam!! This friend's face comes to mind. Here's the lowdown; I have this friend, TI. We've been friends for 3-4 years now i think. But we haven't talk or see each other for about a year or more now. But yeah, i suppose i haven't been making too much an effort myself. I mean i've tried to keep in touch, every once in a long while (hehehe)....but i'm not a scrub, or a stalker, so i figure, either the calls come back or that's that.

And then there's the rumor (i call everything a rumor unless it's proven to be true) that says that TI is not even TI. and that TI wasn't doing what he said he was doing. and that he is pissed that another friend found out about his 'secret identity' or i guess in this case real self. When i heard about this, my first reaction was "No, no way, he would tell me if that's the case" "I mean, he should know me well to trust me with these things". I guess it's always been my hope to be the person who's trusted by friends, you know, to confide and stuff.......so maybe that explains my first reaction. After a while, as i reflect on it more and more, i have to say that it is possible that the rumor is indeed true. There have been signs, certain things that was a bit unusual. Hmmm.......i don't know.

The thing is, i dun actually like to speculate. It has always been my preference to get clarification straight from the actual party. So i did, and it wasn't welcomed as much as i expected it to be. So, instead of "tell me the truth", i chose "I don't want to assume, so i'm asking you, and if you say yes, then i'll believe it's a yes, if you say no, then i'll believe it's a no. I didn't get either one. What i got was more of a "It's up to you, whether you would want to believe me or the others". At that point, i didn't want to repeat my question, so i just changed the topic. I have said it before to him - "It's okay if you're not comfortable telling me everything, it's cool, i understand, it's not my right to know anyway. Just don't lie to my face".

So yeah, i am in the opinion that we all have our own demon and we have every right to keep certain things to ourself. No other human owns us, so if we have our own reason for the lie we have to make and live with, no justification is needed.

So if you ever read this, TI, here's what you should know: I am still very much a friend. Even if the rumor is true, i won't be mad. I won't be mad because i'm sure that you have your reasons for doing so. I have my own share of lies in my life, so i sort of understand. And if the rumor is just a rumor, then tell me so. You have my word that i will not use it against you. I would very much like to help, but only if it's wanted.

I'd like to think that at the very least, you know me enough to believe in what i'm saying.

If not, then i guess there's nothing else left to do. Whatever will be, will be.

3/1/08

Goals for Two Thousand Eight

In the continuing spirit of 2007 being a year of change, I wanted to set a few targets that would bring about critical changes within the next 12 months. After talking to Will over sushi and then baskins, this is what I have decided on (in random order):

Goal 1 - Lose 8 kilos of weight.

Goal 2 - Reduce the credit card balance to zero.

Goal 3 - Write on this blog at least twice a month.

I know what you're thinking and yeah, i agree with you. Goal 3 is probably the hardest to achieve. Haha.

2/1/08


The Year That Was 2007


The last few times I wrote on my blog was early 2007. I wrote about highlights of 2006 and a good beginning of the year 2007. I mentioned that I wanted to spend wisely, grow further professionally, eat better, work even harder, be a better friend, take good care of my mom and a few others. Some I did, others, I forgot about.

The year 2007 was a year of change for me. I did something I never thought I would. I went out of my comfort zone. I changed my job. As of early April, I was no longer a working member of the third place. I was no longer a CLC or a n MCM, or an OM. I was no longer a level 4 certified facilitator. I gave it all up. I resigned. And that, was a change so big, that I sometimes look back with doubt………even when I know that I made the right decision to move on. And then there was the farewell party. Toots, being herself, rallied my close buddies in putting up a surprise farewell event for me. And I was fooled. Actually, the only reason they were able to trick me was because of the fake farewell they gave me a week before the actual event. I was actually convinced that the surprise phase was beyond me, so I did not see this one coming. Naturally, I cried a river that night. Never had I felt so touched and appreciated by colleagues, partners, friends as I did that night.

And with a heavy heart, I moved on………

The other big change for me was moving into my own place. Yay! I did it! I have a home! I am now enjoying the space, the view and the feel of it. The feel of being home. Whatever that means. Hahaha. What it means is that I have to fork out more money to pay for it every month.

Joy….

And then there’s Neo. No, not the chosen one Neo, I mean the 1.6 Neo. Apparently, ( I’ve said this many times before) ‘sporty’ means ‘cramped space’. Who knew? Too bad I had to let the Vios go huh. Idiot. But hey, beggars can’t be choosers, so during the past 7 months, I have learned to appreciate this new black beauty of mine. Fancy a ride? Don’t worry, I don’t drive that fast, I am not a speed demon. I’m not, okay. I’m not.

Unfortunately, the year 2007 also holds a heart-breaking memory. On 30th December, one of my close friend, macha, lost her dad. You know, as much as you want to help, there isn’t much you can do in these circumstances. So I did what I could do. I made myself available by being with her. I hope it helped. I am so sorry for your loss macha. I hope time will heal your wounds and make you well again. And you know I’m here for you, whenever you need me.